Replacing Short-term Rewards With Long-term Sustainable Goals
“Motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you growing.” – John C Maxwell
And so, it has begun…2022 has arrived! Gone are the laid-back, eat-all-you-can, no-worries-just-chill days and with it an adventure of what 2022 will hold for us. It has been interesting how people have approached this year, some with a: “Shush, be quiet, let’s just tip-toe into this one, don’t awake the giant” kind of attitude. Which is understandable given the recent, more difficult years we have faced. Yet, others have the: “Let’s grab the bull by the horns and do this thing” approach. Now, whether you are cautiously tip-toeing into 2022 or courageously going for it, there is one thing that each new year accompanies…new year’s resolutions!
We all have that desire to start fresh, live healthier and not repeating the ‘mistakes’ or keep to the unhealthy habits of last year. It is part of the process. Here again you might have given up on setting resolutions for the year a long time ago, because you just never quite achieve them! We all know the drill, you have a plan, you stick to the plan (at least until February) and then at some point life runs away with you and with it the resolutions to make this one better.
Why is that?
The Instant Gratification Problem
I have referred to the fast-paced, instant gratification society we live in before. Everything is instant, from our coffee to the touch of a button and you have all the information you can think of. But instant and strong resolve will not help us change those unhealthy habits we have grown accustomed to. I find that coffee explains this best: You can have that instant coffee in 2 minutes flat, but to have that excellently brewed cup of coffee requires time and patience.
Abraham Lincoln said: “Discipline is choosing between what you want now, and what you want most.” Wise man, I’d say.
Less Is More
For that we need discipline. For most people and especially within a family context, discipline is often associated with sucking the fun out of everything, but within growing our resilient backbone, discipline is actually the key to more fun, healthier living, and making the most of every single day.
To get to the goal that we are setting for 2022, whether it is eating healthier, getting more exercise, having sufficient sleep, having more quality family time, we need the discipline to create healthy rhythms in our daily living.
It is setting small achievable goals over a long term. Running is an excellent example of what I mean. Now, I have never been a runner, in fact my motto on the subject was: “only a fool runs when no one is chasing him”. But in recent years I have realized the major benefit that exercising has for me and so in the beginning of 2021 I set out to become a more serious runner. I soon discovered that trying to run 5km when I have never done it, will only demotivate me and I will probably hurt myself! So, I got an app to start training. At first it is more walking than running in intervals, which lead to a bit of frustration…that instant thing again. But I found a running partner and we set out to find a rhythm of running at least three times a week and increasing the continuous running to walking ratio each week. And by August we were able to run about 8km comfortably. But it required small, measurable, sustainable goals to get to that ultimate goal.
As you are crafting your own personal and family resolutions for 2022, here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Find an accountability partner. Setting some family goals that you can keep each other accountable with, is a great way to grow your personal discipline but also your family resilience.
- Remember it is a marathon, not a sprint. Rather start with small, achievable goals that might not be noticeable in a month, but that are paving the way to healthy, sustainable rhythms and habits in your everyday life.
- Helping your family grow in self-discipline is one of the best gifts to set them up for long term success. This will probably require a mind shift from instant gratification to long term reward.
A few tips for growing in discipline as a family:
- Healthy exercise. Find a form of exercise that the whole family loves doing and start creating rhythms to do it once or twice a week together. Go for a walk or jog, play games outside, go swimming. Accountability is key, we all have days we don’t feel like doing it, but sticking to the rhythm brings great reward in the long run.
- Healthy sleep. Create a “switch off before bed” time. Research shows that using any electronic device (phone, tablet, television, computer) before bedtime will keep your brain active and busy at least two hours after sleeping. Meaning your brain doesn’t switch of for two hours, even if you are asleep. Implementing no screen time, at least two hours before bed time, will help with efficient sleep. Keep in mind we need at least 7-8 hours of sleep per night.
- Healthy nourishment. If there is a need to eat healthier, start small and obtainable. For example: start by cutting out too much refined sugars and instead eat more fruit. When that has become a habit, tackle the next thing. Have a reward Saturday when you have achieved the week’s goal and take everyone out for ice-cream (it might sound counter-intuitive, but in the long run it will help.)
Get your copy of “Resilience” book for R190 or contact the office for possible Family Resilience consultation and development @ office@xpand-sa.com