The Reality
More and more people are choosing the path of personal and professional mastery than leadership. Few seems to be excited about the possibilities to grow in mastery as a leader. Vincent Zeylmans refers to this dilemma in his article called – Willingness to adopt leadership of people decreases.The lack of healthy leadership examples does not help either. Covid-19 has revealed the real motives of many leaders.
The reasons for the lack of desire among young people varies, but I believe one of the key reasons are the fact that we don’t tell them the real truth about what leaders will face in their life. The pros of leadership are emphasized, such as salaries and perks, but seldom are the difficult realities shared.
I sat with a young leader yesterday and he told me how he did not realize the effort and responsibility it takes to be a leader. Others seemed to have paint an unrealistic picture for him. He found himself being deceived, especially during the start of his leadership journey, in a complete world filled with fake news.
I have had many of these conversations with young leaders, and I can tell you that not all the conversations turn out for the best. Many young leaders blocked the prospect of continuing their journey in leadership, because of 1 or more painful experiences.
‘‘Every leader feels pain. In fact, leadership – all leadership – is a magnet for pain, which comes in many forms.” Samuel R. Chand.
My story
I learned about the truth around the difficult parts of leadership the hard way. When I was a student at university, I was only told of the great things that comes with the responsibility of being a leader. I eagerly attended courses to grow my leadership awareness, and yet, no material ever touched on the difficult topics I would later encounter as a leader. I use to think there is something wrong with me. I had all these questions in my mind:
Am I the only leader that is experiencing this pain and hurt?
What did I do wrong that members of my team would double cross me?
Should I just quit being a leader?
Is it always this hard or does it get better?
As I grow older and barely held on to my passion for leadership, I heard stories of other leaders who experienced similar things. It was a relief to find out that I was not alone. I got more energy and took courage from the stories of others leaders.
What should be done
I do believe that leaders, and especially younger leaders, should be made aware of the true picture of leadership. A picture that does not only include status and a big salary. A picture of leadership that openly acknowledge the trials, pain and/or rejection. The results of not talking about this is devastating. Young leaders start their leadership journey with a twisted and half-truth perspective. Many leaders quit half-way through their journey.
The way a young leader deals with the pain of leadership in the beginning of their voyage will probably become the way it is handled throughout their lifetime, except if there is an intervention. This can lead to very unhealthy leadership behaviors in the long run.
With more than 50% of the world’s population being under 30 years of age, there is no other choice but to give leaders a healthy and holistic view of leadership and to help them to deal with pain in a healthy way. Young leaders should have the privilege to start with a healthy perspective. Current leaders should be encouraged to let the pain build stronger leadership muscles, instead of derailing them.
I want to encourage you to take the hand of another leader and grow forward together. Share your painful experiences with other leaders. Your story might just make the difference. Vulnerability can produce courage in others.
The book – Sailing into unknown waters
For the above reasons I wrote the book Sailing into unknown waters – Even in pain, there is growth. The story was birthed from my experiences in leadership and seeing how some leaders I coach and consult with derailed because the perspective was lob-sided. The goal of the story is to encourage leaders not to give up. The story will make you aware of the fact that all leaders have painful experiences, no matter the age or maturity level of the leader.
May this book inspire you to keep moving forward as a leader, to learn to deal with your unique pain in a healthy way and to support other leaders to do the same. Read the book and give the book to other leaders as a token of your encouragement and belief in them.
Join our Anti-Fragility Leadership 2-part series starting 26 November.
Get your copy of the new e-book “Sailing into unknown waters”!
Sincere greetings,
This blog was written by Cias Ferreira.
Xpand South Africa Team
Empowering individuals and organizations to grow even in chaos.