Team-Ability makes space for peaceful conflict!
“Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” – Ronald Reagan
We have been busy discovering some key principles to grow into healthy teams. In one of our previous blogs we discovered that we have a beautiful mixture of individuals within our teams that will have different views, opinions and feelings about things. We also saw that our teams go through different stages of growth and with these two factors alone, we can be sure that conflict and misunderstandings will be inevitable in any team.
But fear not, all is not lost, as former American President Reagan says, there can be space for healthy conflict that is dealt with in the right way and will always lead to growth and peace rather than tearing teams apart.
One key aspect is understanding the anatomy of conflict:
As individual team members, we are all aware that we are an unique individual within the team, we pretty quickly see that everyone else is also unique and therefore different from me. Where the tension comes in, is when that individual start feeling that they do not understand anyone else or that they are not understood. This creates tension.
From this point, we have a decision to make as to how we will react to the tension.
- The misunderstanding SLIDE
Going down this rabbit hole will definitely lead to broken relationships and hurt individuals. The rabbit trail goes like this: the misunderstanding lead to distrust of team leaders or co-workers, distrust brings the pain of feelings of rejections, which will in turn lead to condemnation. If at any of these points there is not serious intervention, this trail will lead to the death of relationships, which is toxic for healthy team dynamics.
The other option we can choose to go with is:
- Mountaineering
This will often be the harder options but will benefit both the individual and team greatly. This is where the individual starts off with the choice of wanting to understand the other person. As understanding is sought, it will lead to building trust. Trust always harbors acceptance, even when you don’t fully agree, you can still choose to accept that person’s viewpoint. Acceptance leads to respect. This will enrich relationships rather than breaking them.
How the different behavioural styles can help in creating healthy conflict management:
We need to understand how each profile will approach conflict, but also that each profile has strengths that can help find solutions:
Dominant profiles:
- D’s tend to approach conflict direct and aggressive (which could lead to a “I will win/you will lose” situation if not handled well.)
- D’s however have the positive strengths of not hesitating to address conflict and they have the capacity to find pragmatic ways to solve conflict.
Influencing profiles:
- I’s will tend to avoid direct, open conflict.
- However, they have the capacity to create an atmosphere in which they make others feel relatively safe and can be flexible to find collective solutions.
Steady profiles:
- S’s will tend to avoid aggressiveness and conflict.
- But they are trustworthy, willing to take responsibility where needed and willing to admit their faults.
Cautious profiles:
- C’s tend to initially withdraw from open conflict, but will tend to defend him/herself and may even lash out.
- But they can be factual, will think things through and are process oriented.
Tips to handle conflict in a healthy way in your team:
- Educate yourself and the team on each of your team member’s profile, so that you can create an environment that feels safe for each person when handling conflict.
- Make sure to not allow conflict, or misunderstandings to fester, but rather have a quick response to it.
- Educate your team on the anatomy of conflict and the choice we can make when tension starts to brew, so that “the slide” can be stopped before people get hurt.
- Work on a culture of appreciation and feedback that enhances mountaineering.
- As team leader, be sensitive to deal with conflicts at the right time, or intervene where necessary.
Conflict does not have to be a negative, relationship-breaking event within your team, instead let it become moments of growth and appreciation as you grow in ‘peace’-conflict. William James said “whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”
Blog written by Marelize Dippenaar
Xpand SA offers team mastery processes that can help your team grow into stronger, more effective and healthy team. Contact us for more information.