Think before you leap!

Last week, I had the privilege of working with a group of farmers in Kwazulu-Natal. I was supporting a reputable financial services company with a 2-day Retirement Readiness seminar. It was great fun and the farmers gave very positive feedback. They came away with some great insights and next steps to create their own personal roadmaps for a meaningful and financially sound retirement transition.

When people and leaders go through change at all ages and stages of life and career, we love to serve and support them to navigate their change well. One of the key ideas is to understand the difference between a change and a transition. According to William Bridges, who wrote the book “Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes,” a change describes what is happening externally and physically while a transition describes what is happening internally and psychologically. Put another way, a change is what happens to you while a transition is what happens in you. Changes can happen quite quickly, they can be forced upon you or you can choose them for yourself. On the other hand, transitions happen gradually and there are inevitably choices involved around your responses to the change and who you want to become on the other side of it. Therefore, transitions generally take longer. They usually take about 2 years.

From research and the work we do, we have found that when it comes to retirement it is the 2nd biggest change/transition in one’s life, eclipsed only by the change that comes from the loss of a loved one through death, illness or divorce. It is important to pay attention to what is going on inside you during these bigger changes.

One of the ways we help clients through transitions is to take stock of the changes that they have gone through in life so far, both in their career and in their life in general. As they reflect on these we ask the questions:

  • how did it impact you?
  • how did it impact others?
  • how did you change on the other side?
  • and what are the lessons that can be learned?

Reflecting on past changes will give you clues about how you are likely to handle the current or next change you will be going through. If you extract the lessons and apply them going forward, you can navigate your next transition well. This will help you develop what is called the “transition competency” – an important skillset that proves invaluable in this world where we face a lot of change and often with quite a high level of complexity as well.

Back to the farmers. When we finished the exercise on mapping past transitions, we invited them to share some of their most valuable lessons. Some of the lessons that emerged were:

  • You need to talk to each other more and build mutual respect when you go through changes.
  • Think before you leap.
  • You need a lot of patience and tolerance when you go through change.
  • Geographical relocation is a bigger change than you may realise – doing it slowly and giving yourself time to adapt is important.
  • It is good to find a neutral place especially with remarriage.
  • You can learn a lot from others in a group or tribe.

I found it interesting to see how much they learned from and encouraged each other even though they did not know each other before the seminar began. For me it highlighted once more the power of tribes and community when we go through change. We can relate to each other’s stories, learn from each other and support each other.

One of the best things you could do if you are helping your organisation manage a big change, is to form small support groups that will help each other and create a safe place to process the change and talk about how each one is being impacted by it. When you create safe places for people to process change, you give them the freedom to let go and end the old season with dignity and respect. Many people don’t realise how important this is. They like to say things like “just get over it” or “just accept the change” but don’t realise that when you allow people to say goodbye or end with dignity, then it is natural and easier to accept the new and move on in your own way over time. People don’t actually resist change, they resist the transition that change requires. That’s why change is not easy.

Here are a few practical pointers to navigate through your own transition or help others with theirs:

  1. Take stock: Make two columns, one marked “change” and the other marked “transition” and list the things that describe the physical/external things that are changing in the 1st column (i.e. what is happening to you), and then in the 2nd column list the associated psychological/internal things that you are going through as a result (i.e. what is happening in you).
  2. Reflect on past changes: identify the 3 biggest changes you have gone through in your life and your career. Make notes on how it impacted you, how it impacted others, how did you change, and what are the lessons you can learn? Summarise this in your top 3 lessons.
  3. Pay attention to endings: try to identify what it is that is ending in the transition you are in; what must you let go; what are you feeling about it; what are you losing or giving up?
  4. Create a neutral zone: before you can embrace a new beginning or a new season, give yourself time and space to explore and experiment with new ideas in a “neutral zone.” What can this neutral zone look like for you? Who and what can support you through the “neutral zone?”
  5. Hire a change manager: it can be helpful to enlist a coach for 1-1 support or a facilitator for group work to help you and others navigate the change you are going through.

At Xpand we are ready to serve and support you with coaching and facilitation for any transition that you or your organization may be going through. We are also glad to consult to your organization on how to manage change and create a roadmap that leaves no one behind and enables people to fully engage the transition that change brings. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to one of our Xpand consultants today at office@xpand-sa.com.

Blog written by Gareth Stead.