The invisible property lines of self-care.

Mental health has become an even more prominent topic since COVID. And now, a few years since the worst part of COVID is over, we are experiencing “a wave of mental health challenges” which probably exists as an aftershock of this world pandemic.

So, the topic of self-care, which refers to one’s holistic well-being, becomes more and more important in the field of people development. Self-care requires a systematic approach: caring for body, soul and spirit. An awareness of the different areas in one’s life that has to be well balanced and all taken care of is crucial for an individual to function optimally. Elizabeth Scott (2023) writes in an article that self-care is essential for building resilience. As Xpand, we have an excellent resilience program with different tools to assist you in growing your resilience. Our next blog will elaborate more on this, but a 1st step before building resilience, is to become aware of the importance of self-care. Self-care starts with self-awareness, if you are not aware of what you need, you won’t be able to address those needs.

Growing in self-awareness

The first question I want to ask in an attempt to grow your self-awareness would be: rate your current level of self-care on a scale from 1 – 10. One being, I don’t spend any time on taking care of my own needs and 10 being: this is 100% in place, no further investment needed.

According to Scott (2023) there exists 5 important areas within a holistic approach to self-care. If you want a more detailed approach, you can apply the 1-10 rating scale on all 5 of these areas in order to become more aware of your current state of self-care. I have listed the 5 areas here, but you can read through her article to get a deeper understanding into the meaning of each of these.

5 Areas of self-care:

  1. Physical self-care
  2. Social self-care
  3. Mental self-care
  4. Spiritual self-care
  5. Emotional self-care

Boundaries

My second attempt to encourage self-awareness and to address the topic of self-care lies within the concept of boundaries. Cloud & Townsend (1992:31) describes boundaries as invisible property lines and indications of personal responsibility. Similar to boundary lines within physical reality, the figurative understanding of boundaries also indicates where a person’s property and responsibility begins and where it ends. If we own and take responsibility for our personal boundaries, it gives us freedom. The same is true for a person’s self-care: each individual is responsible for their own health and for making sure they take good care of themselves. The management of one’s intangible boundaries can be compared to two neighbours watering their lawns (Cloud & Townsend 1992). If the boundaries of my lawn sprinklers are not set correctly and waters my neighbours’ grass instead of my own, my lawn will eventually be a dry piece of ground and my neighbour’s lawn will flourish. My neighbour will probably have no problem with this while I might be very upset. The same goes for not owning up the responsibility of self-care. If I don’t prioritize my personal health, no one else will and at the end of the day I will be the main person to suffer because of this.

Tips to grow in self-care:

  1. Consider the 5 areas of self-care mentioned above, as well as where your personal boundaries lie in these 5 areas. This will increase your self-awareness as a crucial step in the process of self-care.
  2. The most complex area of self-care is probably emotional self-care. Boundaries are so important in healthy relationship but often this is not given much thought. The few people that are aware of boundaries (or the lack of boundaries) in relationships hardly ever discuss this with their relational partners. I want to encourage you to reflect on your relationships and categorize them into the healthy and not-so-healthy relationships. Consider where your boundaries lie in these relationships and identify 2 of the not-so-healthy relationships where you want to address the unhealthy boundaries.
  3. Ask a friend or a life coach to be part of your journey towards holistic self-care. Such a person can keep you accountable to reach your goals and to constantly have a balanced approach in your self-care.

Blog written by Chantal Ferreira.

Resources:

https://www.verywellmind.com/self-care-strategies-overall-stress-reduction-3144729

Boundaries by H. Cloud & J Townsend, 1992.